Things Ive learned about myself...

In times of struggle, you are forced to focus on yourself.
It just happens.
When someone dies, you begin asking yourself... what will my life legacy be?
When you have relationship problems with someone, you ask yourself, what did I do wrong?
When your kids are rebellious, you ask, what kind of parent must I be?
It just happens.

I have been forced to ask myself alot of hard truths through my time of struggle.
and here are some things I have learned about myself.

Lets start with the not so good....

1. I like to be a victim.
It is easy to take victime status, people feel sorry for you, you feel sorry for yourself, and its all about pity. poor me.

2. I do not enjoy life to the fullest.
Something holds me back. I have mentioned I am a control freak. I wouldnt want to ENJOY something TOO much or it may just be BAD... hmmm.. I think its time to start LIVING!

3. My relationship with the LORD is weak.
Yep. I have always known my spiritual life was a bit on the back burner.. but now I have realized it really has been suffering alot more than I knew.

4. I am a half full cup person.
This may fall into the NOT enjoying life to the fullest, but it also falls into its own category when it comes to getting things done, dreaming, being hopeful and happy, yep... cup half full is not good.

5. I lack some SUBSTANCE.
what kind of substance you ask? The kind that gets things DONE, attacks problems FACE on, and means BUSINESS. Yep. I need some Substance.. AND no, unfortunately NOT that "substance" called that we all like to drink to forget our problems, although, that would be NICE!

But, heres the deal. I also have learned GOOD things about myself. yep. AND after this weekend, I am even more confident with my list.

1. I will always PUT my KIDS first. and will always protect them.
I was raised in a not so good situation(hence always being a victim, refer to #1 above). I made a choice that my kids would never go through what I had to. And I will always stick by that.

2. I am CREATIVE.
Yep. Now, let the creative juices flow and if only I could quit looking at that CUP half full!

3. My life is meant to be GREAT! I am loved, I am blessed, and I am thankful. That I am sure of. AND I have learned that I appreciate LIFE.

4. God loves me. He will always take care of me.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own"

5. I have learned that if I put my mind to something, and believe in it, it is possible.
 Ok. Maybe I am still trying to convince myself of this one, but I am getting there.