Letting GO, Letting GOD.

I am a control freak.
I grew up with little control of my situation.
I am extremely Co-dependent. I have a hard time enjoying life sometimes. The "unknowns" in life scare me. I crave security, control, and stability. I picture my life like this stack of rocks.

Balancing this controlled, carefully thought out life, waiting for it to crumble down, but sure that it wont if I just keep picking and choosing my rocks carefully. It has crumbled many times, and then I start the process of building and repairing all over again.
There is only one problem.
 I AM thinking that I am in CONTROL and rely on all these "things"  to all stay steady. I am fearing that the rocks will crumble at any second, but I tiredly am trying hard to keep up my stack of troubles and life experiences balanced and controlled. In my mind, I am sure that if I dont stack and build this life ALL on my own, may crumble again,{which ofcourse happens!} leaving me all by myself and exposed. I am tired. Because believe it or not, this stack of rocks is hard to maintain. I am my worst enemy.
So, I am on a journey.
It is a journey to become strong in myself. To believe in myself. To love myself. To realize that I am not in control of others and their troubles. That my happiness comes from within myself and only THEN can I let go and let GOD.
I am in control of MYSELF. In control of my actions, my choices, my reactions, my relationships,  my spirituality, my happiness, and my life. I am confident that if I let GO, and let GOD, that all this will fall into place. I will have so much more to offer to others because I am confident and trustworthy.  That my life of balancing rocks, will look like this instead.

"Sand is rock material that has been eroded into tiny grains".

Yep. A sand beach. All these rocks eroded and gone.
That I will not focus on the rocks, I will NOT focus on control. That I will only LET go, and let GOD...